


The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions

by Joths_Dump



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Funny, Gen, Sylvain Jose Gautier Being An Idiot, crude language, dedue is protective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:01:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23500507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joths_Dump/pseuds/Joths_Dump
Summary: Sylvain just wanted to help his friend out.Mature, but just because a porn site and video are mentioned. Otherwise it's tame.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro
Kudos: 18





	The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions

“SYLVAIN GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!”

The shout was deafening, it shook the entirety of the Blue Lions dorm. It was a miracle of the Saints that the building had not collapsed.

Sylvain ran desperately through the halls. Panting like a dog and sweating like a pig. He burst in to Mercedes room. Not only was she present but so were Annette, Ashe, and Ingrid. Mercedes looked rattled, a pitiful frown was on her face. Annette and Ashe were cowering in fear. Ingrid was as she usually is around Sylvain, disappointed.

The four lions were perplexed. The terrible earth-rending shout sounded to have been Dedue Molinaro. Though the Blue Lions had been encouraging Dedue to be open with his dissatisfaction and frustration, no one could comprehend the circumstances that would evoke such righteous indignation.

“Please you have to hide me!” Sylvain begged pathetically.

“What the hell did you do this time!” Ingrid demanded an answer from him.

“I-I- I’m not sure.” what a pathetic lie.

“There you are Gautier!” Dedue had arrived on the scene. An impenetrable darkness shadowed his visage. 

“Let’s take it easy everyone.” Mercedes intervened. “Please explain to us what happened Dedue.”

“He- He- ...” Dedue struggled to catch his breath. His nostrils flared and puffed more violently than any bull. “He exposed Dimitri to things he was never meant to see.”

“Come on I was just trying to help!”

“Quiet you.” Ingrid shut him down. At this point she wasn’t the only one disappointed. So were the others.

“What did you show him?” Annette inquired.

“Well... I just wanted to show Dimitri a video. So he’d know how to... further their relationship.” Sylvain let out a shaky laugh.

“Show it to us.” Mercedes demanded.

Sylvain gulped. He unceremoniously brought out his phone. He tapped at it a bunch. When he finished, he was shaking violently. He turned the screen towards the group.

It was a website of... questionable reputation. Filled with videos and automatic adds with explicit content. At the epicenter of this chaos was a single video. “ Blonde Virgin Twink gets Obliterated by a Massive Cock.”

The silence was deafening.

Ingrid was furious. Ashe was absolutely repulsed. Annette had a terrible fire in her eyes. 

Mercedes expression appeared neutral. Her breathing was steady.

“Its-Its not that bad right?” Sylvain was a fool. “Come on you guys no need to be so upset. What about you Mercie? You get me right?”

“Sylvain. I may be a healer,” she lifted her hands chest level “but...” she cracked her knuckles.

On that day Sylvain Jose Gautier came to know a wrath that would make the Goddess cower in fear.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a post from @TheEeveeTamer. On tumblr though, not here.  
> https://theeeveetamer.tumblr.com/post/614403459167420416/
> 
> It was too funny to ignore.  
> Also, Sylvain already tried to hide with Felix but he kicked him out.


End file.
